I married this incredible human last Thursday in a ceremony with just the two of us, the officiant (the most RBG officiant ever), and our photographer as our witness at San Francisco City Hall. It was blissfully simple and intimate.
About a month before this incredible day, I called my grandma to tell her that I was getting married (again). I wish I had recorded what she told me after I explained the plan for our wedding. My grandma has a storybook memory – full of the smallest of details bringing all her stories to life. There is never a short call or a short visit with her. I have tried to memorialize it here because it’s so sweet and this story led to me being in this world. Here is my best telling as she told me –
You know there’s someone else I know who got married at a courthouse. Grandpa had bought me a ring and we had planned for a while to get married at the courthouse. On the day of, grandpa showed up at our house and his truck got stuck in the mud. Dad had to get a team of horses to haul him out. All we had with us when we left for the courthouse was a pillow and sheet. Grandpa had rented a little house – with a little kitchen. But first we had to pick up my ring – it was getting resized. Mom and dad didn’t go with us. No one went with us. The clerk or someone there was our witness. I didn’t get grandpa a ring so that day dad gave me $50 and said to use it get a ring. Now that doesn’t seem like a lot of money now, but it was a lot of money then. So grandpa and I decided that we would use the money for the necessities instead. We didn’t have anything – not a couch or even curtains. I don’t know what we spent it on now – probably groceries. Grandpa didn’t have a ring until our 25th anniversary. That’s when we both got matching rings. Mine had to be resized again, so it had fewer little diamonds then grandpa’s. When grandpa passed away one of the kids – I don’t remember which one – maybe your mom asked if I wanted to have grandpa buried with his ring. And I said no. Maybe I’ve heard too many stories, but it just didn’t seem to be doing any good to bury it with him. So your mom, she bought me a necklace to put his ring on to wear. But it broke, so your Aunt Cindy got me a silver one and they say it’s stronger than the other one. And I guess now I could put both rings on the chain, but I still want mine on my finger…
You and Jake, you two take care of each other.
– Mollie Guthrie, January 2020
Last week, my dear co-worker’s husband passed away after decades of marriage. I visited her in San Francisco the night before our wedding and was so moved by the tremendous love they shared and her strength at a time of such unfathomable loss. Following the wedding, she wrote to me, “But most of all, I’m just so happy that you and Jake are launched on your life’s journey together. Speaking from experience, I can assure you it’s a wonderful ride.”
I am so grateful to be on this wonderful ride with Jake and supported by such loving and compassionate friends and family.